my brain is being held for ransom. It’s hard to formulate thoughts and things aren’t the way they used to be. nothing feels the same, in fact there is no trace of whatever life used to be, as if the whole existence has been erased, stopped. started from another point in reality. I try to stick around one place, event, object, subject to stare at it long enough to understand what’s wrong with it, and I can’t manage. Either the scene is changing too fast, or my vision is blurry. How can it be if I am not, for the first time since being a child, not seeking any chemical Erleichterung? Maybe the unblurred vision is just unstable and the numbing is what made it feel more static?
Thinking is an act of self harm. You think, you see. Many things become useless many ideas meaningless.
Where to go, what to do?
Other than to a place where you do control everything by allowing it to control you.
📬 GET ME AT: itwasherealreadylongtimeago@proton.me